The Look of Love (The Sullivans) - Chapter 5 + Audiobook + Exclusive Commentary from Bella

May 05, 2022

I hope you enjoyed Chapter 4 of The Look of Love. For me, the ending of the chapter is one of the most pivotal, important parts of the book. This passage is one of my favorite in any of the books I’ve written.

“Chase Sullivan hadn’t realized that tonight his life was going to change forever. But it just had. And, amazingly—shockingly—he wasn’t the least bit interested in fighting that change. Instead, he was gearing up for a different fight altogether. The fight for Chloe’s heart.”

If you’ve missed any of the previous chapters you can find them here:

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 /

Enjoy Chapter 5!

Note: You can also listen to THE LOOK OF LOVE for free!
AUDIOBOOK:
Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 /

CHAPTER FIVE

Please Note: My books are sexy and emotional love stories. Which is to say there will be lots of scenes where the hero and heroine are smooching (and doing much, much more!) in nearly all of my posts. 😍

Chloe woke up warm and well rested. Oh, she’d missed beds like this—pillow-top mattresses with soft, silky sheets and thick duvets that were light and yet perfectly warm all at the same time. Still, becoming her own person again these past six months since filing for divorce, even if it meant she’d been sleeping on cheap, scratchy sheets and a rock-hard single bed, had been better than soft beds and fancy shoes.

That urgency to start running again tried to steal through her, but for the moment she was just too darn comfortable to do more than stretch and snuggle down deeper beneath the covers. She closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but despite how nice it was to lie in the middle of a big bed like a lump of lazy, rather than rush off to the diner she’d been working in these past months to serve greasy eggs, she just couldn’t nod off. Not when thoughts of Chase kept sliding in, one after the other, insidiously sweet.

And hot.

She’d crawled naked between the sheets the previous night, so exhausted that she immediately fell asleep. But in the light of the morning that was now streaming in through the sheer curtains at the window, she remembered—in vivid, Technicolor detail—just what she’d done in the bathroom.

And just what he’d seen.

She instinctively covered her cheeks as they grew hot.

Chloe wouldn’t beat herself up for touching herself in the delicious tub. She wouldn’t even call herself out for the way his name had fallen from her lips. And there really was no point in being angry with him for walking in on her “private time,” not when the only reason he’d come looking for her was because he’d clearly been worried about her. He hadn’t been hoping to catch her with her hand between her legs.

But what had come after—the fact that she hadn’t flat-out insisted he leave the bathroom, the way they’d teased each other, the fact that she’d actually called him Hotstuff to his face—well, she could hardly believe any of it had happened.

And yet, despite the way her stomach clenched as she tried to force those memories away, the small spot of warmth that had settled in behind her breastbone before she fell asleep remained.

All because Chase hadn’t come at her. He hadn’t frightened her. Or tried to dominate her in any way.

Some women, she knew, liked that sort of thing. They found it exciting to have their power taken away. Once upon a time, she’d been tantalized by fantasies of being held down like that. Of being bound. Of being helpless in her passion. Of being able to let go completely with a man who loved her.

She couldn’t imagine ever feeling that way now. No, she’d never let anyone take her power away ever again. And Chloe couldn’t think of one possible reason that she might be tempted to let anyone control any part of her life like that. Not a single one.

She closed her eyes, knowing she was being a coward lying here in this soft bed. She should be on the phone, calling the police, filing a report against her ex-husband that explained exactly how she’d come by the nasty bruise on her face…and who was responsible for putting it there. She should have done it last night, but she’d been so spooked by the way her ex had come after her that she hadn’t been thinking about anything but getting away. Far, far away from him.

But knowing what she should do and feeling strong enough to do it were quite clearly two completely different things.

Finally giving up on getting anymore sleep, with her mind reeling in a dozen different directions, she pushed off the covers, slid out of bed and turned on the lights. A good night’s sleep had helped clear her head enough that she finally noticed all the little things she hadn’t seen the night before.

Everything from the furnishings in the bedroom to the plush carpeting beneath her bare feet and the curtains hanging in front of the windows spoke of wealth. Crisp white linens and the hardwood floors gave a light and airy feel to the room. But where her ex-husband and his family had made sure to scream their riches from the rooftops, Chloe got the sense that Chase’s brother had purchased each chair, each pillow, even the linens, because he liked the way they looked and felt when you used them. Not because he was trying to impress anyone.

Pulling the sheets and comforter back up over the bed, she ran her hand over the soft bedcover one more time, telling it, “You were good last night,” like a fond lover before she headed for the bathroom.

She stood beneath the deliciously warm shower spray, feeling safe and warm, at least for a little while. She wasn’t going to hide here forever, of course. But for the rest of the day, if she could manage it without getting in anyone’s way, she’d hang out in the vineyards. Maybe even taste a little wine. Pretend her life was normal for a while.

Normal. That sounded really nice. Even if she wasn’t sure how “normal” it was possible to feel in a gorgeous wine-country house like this.

Forcing back the voice inside her head that told her avoiding the inevitable would only make it harder to take care of the ugliness later, she worked to convince herself that she deserved a tiny bit of enjoyment. Didn’t she?

After drying off and finding that her mud-stained jeans and T-shirt were thankfully dry and at least partially cleaner than they’d been last night, she put them on.

Okay, so maybe she’d taken longer than normal drying her long straight hair, but that was only because it had gotten so tangled the night before and she wanted to make sure she had all the knots out. It wasn’t that she cared about looking good for Chase. And it wasn’t that she was nervous about seeing him again.

Oh, who was she kidding? No one, that’s who.

The bruise on her face wasn’t going to terrify small children or anything, but it wasn’t particularly attractive, either. Add to that her well-worn jeans and T-shirt, and she wasn’t anywhere near looking her best.

Which was unfortunate, because if she was being completely honest with herself, she’d loved the way he’d looked at her last night when she’d stood up in the tub. Today, with her clothes back on, she really wished she could look her best for Chase…and that he would look at her that way again.

Just the thought of seeing Chase again had her heart pounding hard as she took a deep breath and threw her shoulders back before rounding the corner of the hallway to where it opened up to the kitchen.

It was empty.

Disappointment reared up in her before she could shove it down. Or pretend it hadn’t been there at all.

There was a bowl of freshly cut fruit on the kitchen island, along with an array of pastries that had her empty stomach growling. She had already picked up a chocolate croissant—her favorite!—and bitten into it by the time she noticed the note tucked beside the pretty red-and-yellow fruit bowl.

Chloe,
Good morning. I hope you slept well. Sorry I couldn’t stay to keep you company for breakfast. Please come join us out in the vineyards when you’re done eating.
See you soon,
HOTSTUFF
P.S. Almost forgot. There’s fresh-squeezed OJ in the fridge. Gotta make sure you get your vitamin C.

Her surprised laughter rang out in the empty kitchen.

Chloe couldn’t believe he’d signed his note with the nickname she’d given him. In her experience, men didn’t have funny bones. Especially not when the joke was at their expense. But Chase had surprised her again and again, hadn’t he? First, by appearing in the bathroom doorway while she was finishing up her bath, then again by not making a move on her, and now with the very sweet, very cute note.

Looking in the fridge, she found the juice and poured herself a tall glass. Settling on one of the bar stools, she picked up the note and read it again.

Us meant Chase and his brother, right? She fought back a prickle of unease that she might have to meet more people than that. Frankly, she didn’t even want to meet his brother looking and feeling the way she did right now. But since she’d availed herself of his hospitality last night—right now, too—she wouldn’t feel right if she didn’t at least thank him for letting her crash in his guesthouse for a night. As soon as she was settled again, she’d get to work making him a new quilt as a proper thank-you gift. Quilting was her passion and maybe, once she cleaned up the mess that was currently her life and began it anew, she’d be able to turn the quilts she so loved to make into a business. She could make custom quilts or maybe even open a small quilting store in a cute cottage where she could teach classes to children and adults.

As she let herself enjoy the sun pouring into the kitchen along with a few of the dreams she’d set aside for so long, she pulled off flaky strips of the croissant and let them melt on her tongue. The croissant was down to little crumbles on the granite countertop, and she was picking each one up with a wet fingertip before she admitted to herself that she was stalling again, hiding out in the guesthouse so she wouldn’t have to face Chase.

It was a beautiful day outside. The storm from the previous night had cleared the air, and she took a deep, cool breath of it into her lungs. If she was going to give herself one day away from her real life, she should go and enjoy Napa Valley while she was here.

Chloe stepped out onto the wide, covered porch. Shading her eyes with one hand, before she even took in the beauty around her, she carefully scanned the area in front of her to make sure her surroundings were secure.

Because even though she felt safer than she had in a while, she also knew trouble could come from anywhere, just when she least expected it. Just as it had last night.

Every time she thought about what had happened the previous night, she felt so stupidly naive. How had she missed the signs that her ex had been on the edge? Thinking about it made her stomach feel like a tight fist was wrapped around it, clenching tighter and tighter.

Normal. She’d been planning to pretend everything was normal.

She took one deep breath and then another as she fought to repress her swirling emotions, her fears. Finally, when she felt steadier, she looked around her with a surprised gasp.

After the rain the previous night, the vineyard sparkled in the sunlight. The leaves on the vines were bright green, almost as if a child had painted the scene in primary colors with fresh crayons.

The vineyard was blissfully quiet, except, she noticed as she walked down between a tall row of vines, for the birds that were playfully calling back and forth to one another. As their cheerful songs filtered into her, she took a deep breath of the fresh air, the clean scent of dirt and growing plants and nature.

The beauty all around her was exquisite, the beautiful green of the vineyards and trees alongside bright yellow mustard flowers and purple sage. She felt like she could walk for hours, for weeks, and never get her fill of the views, the sunshine, the bright blue sky. The air smelled so good, perfumed by the vines and the flowers blooming all around them.

Unfortunately, a few moments later, her idyll was interrupted by the sound of quickly approaching footsteps and what sounded like a teenage girl sobbing. Chloe barely backed into one of the vines in time to avoid being trampled by a tall, thin girl who couldn’t have been much older than eighteen or nineteen.

Chloe’s heart thumped hard as she waited—and watched—for someone to come running after the girl. When the coast was clear a few moments later and she stepped back into the middle of the dirt path, she found the elaborate ties on the girl’s dress had caught on a set of thick vines.

Chloe quickly made her way over to her. “Hold still for a few seconds, and I’ll get you unstuck.”

The girl’s eyes were wide and still full of tears as Chloe worked on untangling one of the silky threads.

Even though she was wondering what on earth the girl was doing wearing a dress like this—one Chloe knew firsthand must have cost a fortune—in the middle of a vineyard on a weekday morning, she asked, “What’s wrong?”

“He’s so mean!”

Chloe’s heartbeat, which had barely slowed, kicked back into overdrive. Feeling incredibly protective, she asked, “Who’s mean? Your boyfriend?”

The girl shook her head, strikingly beautiful even with tear-streaked cheeks and tangled hair. “I wish. He’s so gorgeous,” she finally said, fresh tears falling down her cheeks, “and so, so mean!”

Why did they all do this to themselves? Chloe wondered. What was the allure of falling for guys who treated them like dirt? Was it some secret part of the kindergarten curriculum for girls? And, if so, why couldn’t someone create a class on how to find men who were good, and kind, and sweet?

Chloe absolutely refused to believe that a man had to use his strength against a woman to prove that he was strong. She suddenly found herself thinking of Chase again. Clearly, he was strong. But he hadn’t tried to use his innate power to pressure her into anything. And it had only made her want him more.

As the thoughts raced through her head one after the other, Chloe finished untangling the silk threads from the vine. But even after she was done, the girl continued to cry—big, racking, dramatic sobs.

“Oh, good, you found her.”

Chloe turned at the sound of a familiar voice. Chase? When had he come upon them? And how could his warm voice, the same one that had threaded through all of her dreams last night, have her body heating up this quickly?

The girl wrapped her long, slim fingers around Chloe’s wrist and held on tight. Tight enough that any greeting Chloe might have uttered was swallowed up in a gasp of pain as long, perfectly manicured nails dug in between the veins in her wrist.

One look into his eyes was all it took for her to immediately forget the sting in her wrist. He looked so concerned. And so ridiculously beautiful that it actually stole her breath away. She’d seen him last night in the dark and rain, and then gotten a better look in his brother’s guesthouse, but the way he looked in the sunlight? Honestly, it was a good thing the girl was holding on to her arm so tightly, if for no other reason than to make sure Chloe stayed on her feet.

She supposed he wasn’t actually male-model handsome, but even if the bridge of his nose was just a little crooked from where one of his brothers’ fists had likely collided with it at some point, the way all of his features came together on his rugged face—along with the broad set of his shoulders, the narrow strength of his hips and the confidence in his stance—had her heart actually wobbling around inside her chest.

Chase’s eyes were warm as he scanned Chloe’s face. “How’d you sleep?”

Somehow, she managed a way too breathy, “Good.”

He smiled, a big, heartfelt smile that immediately turned Chloe’s insides to liquid goo. “I’m glad to hear it.”

The girl dug her nails harder into the thin skin on Chloe’s wrist. “It’s him,” she hissed, frowning at the gentle interplay between the two adults who were completely ignoring her and her tantrum.

Chloe tried to shift her wrist from beneath the girl’s talons. “What do you mean it’s him?”

The girl pointed at Chase and exclaimed, “He’s the one who made me cry!”

Chloe turned from the girl to Chase. Trying to get everything straight, Chloe said, “You made her cry?”

Rather than answer her question, he addressed the girl directly in a very patient voice. “Amanda, we’re losing the proper light. I need you back in place on set. Now.”

The girl’s pout rivaled that of a three-year-old. “It’s not fair.”

Finally, Chase let a little annoyance creep into his voice. “None of us have time for your tantrums today, Amanda.”

Chloe looked between the two of them in confusion. What in heck were they talking about? This pretty young girl couldn’t possibly be Chase’s girlfriend, could it? And what did he mean by “back in place on set”?

Still, she couldn’t forget the way the girl had been crying before he’d found them in the middle of the vineyard. Feeling protective, she moved to put herself between the two of them.

“Look, Chase,” Chloe began, “she’s really upset about something.”

The girl elbowed her out of the way, and Chloe had a strange feeling that she’d just made the mistake of standing in Amanda’s limelight.

“I want to be in the front!” The girl’s big eyes were suddenly calculating. “Promise me I’ll be the lead for the rest of the day, and I’ll go back.”

Chase’s expression didn’t change as he looked at Amanda. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t laughing. He was simply focused. Determined. Chloe had the distinct sense that he rarely, if ever, didn’t get exactly what he wanted.

A slight shiver came over her as she remembered the way he’d looked at her with such intense desire the previous night. What would have happened if he’d thrown in this focus? This determination? Would she have ended the night alone in that big, delicious bed?

Or would she have had his big, strong body next to hers as company?

She barely managed to pull herself down to earth in time to hear him say, “Here’s the deal, Amanda. Either you get back over there and do your job or I call a cab and let your agent know that this is the last time you and I will have the privilege of working together.”

“But, Chase,” the girl whined as she realized she wasn’t going to get her way, “it’s not fair!”

He shrugged and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. “Napa Valley. I need the phone number of a cab company.”

The girl all but leaped across the path between the vines to grab the phone from his hand, her sharp nails raking even harder across Chloe’s skin as she abruptly let go. Chase was faster than the girl, raising his hand high above his head and stepping to the side so that she had to catch a vine to keep from falling.

Chase put the phone back to his ear. “Yes, I need an airport pickup at Sullivan Winery.”

“No!” The girl shrieked so loud Chloe’s ears rang even as her wrist throbbed practically as bad as the bruise on her face had the night before. “I’ll go back and do whatever you want.”

Chase didn’t shift the phone away from his ear as he simply told Amanda, “You won’t question me again.” It wasn’t an inquiry. It was a statement.

The girl agreed, nodding her head. Hard. “It’s just that I found out that my boyfriend is sleeping with my roommate and I hate them both and I’m so upset.”

At that point, the girl had changed tactics, doing her best to blink her huge eyes at him and look equally pathetic and beautiful. Chloe knew if she ever tried to pull that off, she’d just look like she had a nasty cold.

“I’m really sorry I’m messing up the shoot,” Amanda said in a voice that Chloe suspected was as contrite as she got.

Surprisingly, a hint of a smile played on Chase’s lips. Was Amanda being forgiven that easily? In Chloe’s experience, men weren’t so forgiving. Then again, they weren’t this good-looking, either. Clearly, Chase was breaking the rules left and right.

“Apology accepted. Now why don’t you head on back and get your makeup cleaned up so that we can continue with the shoot while the light is good?”

“Okay, Chase.” The girl turned and trotted back on her mile-long legs, leaving Chloe and Chase alone.

“Teenage girls.” He mock-shivered. “After dealing with my sisters for so long, I should have known better than to work in a field that depends on them.”

“What’s going on here?” Chloe realized, too late, that she sounded like a bad fifties movie come to life, the matron walking in on a scene she couldn’t comprehend.

“I’m a photographer. We’re shooting a magazine spread here for the next few days.”

Oh. Now things were starting to make sense. Especially all the talk of “shooting” and “good light.”

“I meant to tell you last night, but—” he grinned at her “—I got a little distracted.”

Just that quickly, the reminder of what had happened to “distract” him last night had her cheeks flushing and her entire body heating up. Her brain—and tongue—felt tied as she said, somewhat awkwardly, “I didn’t mean to interrupt your work. I was just coming out for a walk.” She gestured to the vines, the mountains, the trees, the blue sky. “It’s so beautiful here. Absolutely lovely.”

“Lovely,” he murmured, and she was instantly reminded of the way he’d said, “My God, you’re lovely,” the previous night.

Feeling her cheeks grow even hotter, she dropped her gaze to the dirt. “Thanks for setting out breakfast.”

She watched his feet move closer, until he was standing close enough that she had no choice but to lift her head to face him.

“I’m glad you liked it,” he said softly, and then he was brushing his fingertips across her cheek to the corner of her mouth. “You’ve just got a little bit of chocolate right here.”

There was nothing to do but stop breathing entirely while he was touching her. She couldn’t remember a man ever being this gentle with her before.

Nor could she remember ever wanting a man as badly as she wanted him.

And then he moved his finger the slightest bit, so that it was in front of her lips, and some previously latent devil inside of her—the same one that had convinced her that touching herself in the tub last night would be a good thing—had her opening up her mouth and licking the chocolate off.

She heard a groan come from way down deep in his chest. “Chloe.”

Oh, God, she was this close to kissing him, a man who was still a stranger despite the fact that he’d seen her naked and provided her a warm, safe place to spend the night.

What was she doing?

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Thanks for reading and keep an eye out for Chapter 6!